Some of my Most Favorite Homemaking Books

I am a book lover. I love them. I love bookcases full of them. My dream would  be to  have a room in my house that is totally full of built in bookcases...and a grand piano... ( dream big) :)


I was raised in the 70's and 80's. During that time raising daughters into homemakers wasn't exactly in vogue. I married knowing very little about homemaking or cooking. My mom did it all, and she did it efficiently. I was a little spoiled, I am not going to lie about it.  I actually thought it was a punishment when she would leave a list for me to complete on Saturday mornings before I could jump in my black Camaro and hit the roads with my friends.

Then I got married to a very easy going and patient man. The first meal I cooked consisted of creamed potatoes. I used the wrong beaters for the hand mixer, and I successfully slung hot potatoes across the room and upside the back of my hubby's head. I can laugh about it now, and we laughed then, but I hated feeling so dumb!

I would like to say that I jumped right into learning during that honeymoon period, but I didn't. We both worked full time jobs and ate a lot of processed food. It wasn't until I began my homeschool journey that I started to see that I really needed to change some things. I met beautiful women with houses full of kids. They were making lovely homes, honoring their husbands, and of course, baking some awesome bread! I began devouring books on the subjects of homemaking, Godly womanhood, nutrition, and homeschooling. I couldn't get enough. Then came along blogs and the internet. Oh my! So many things that I just had to know!


Fast forward to the present time. I am now 46 years old. I have four lovely children, the oldest will be 21 soon, the youngest is 8.  How in the world did that happen so fast? If I have learned one thing it is to embrace it all. Take it all in.....all of the dishes...all of the laundry...all of the cleaning. Do it with as much joy as you can. Your family will grow up so fast and you will never get these days back. Do you want them to remember their mom as a constant complaining and slothful woman, or a woman that ran a household that made them want to have the same thing?

So, I have complied a list of some of my all time favorite reads on the subject of Homemaking. These are the books that I will never give away, except to pass on to my daughters or my future daughter in law.

Some of these are out of print, but you can find them on various used books sites. I like these: Abebooks.com and Thriftbooks.com

Homemaking, by J.R.Miller  This book was first published in 1882. I adore old books. I love this book because it speaks about the wedded life, the role of each spouse, and children in the home. It is old fashioned, but I think we can learn a lot from the way that they conducted themselves back then. I am romantic, I know.  

The Hidden Art of Homemaking, by Edith Schaeffer Mrs. Schaeffer was the wife to the great Christian philosopher Francis Schaeffer ( if you have never watched How Shall we Then Live, then I highly recommend that you do)  What I love about this book is that her focus to me is that we should create lovely homes that are filled with beauty. God was the greatest artist of all, and he created the most beautiful things for us to enjoy. We should strive to create a home that is full of creativity and originality. Her chapters include music, paintings, poetry, flowers, gardening. It isn't a how to book of cleaning secrets, but a book about creating an atmosphere that is a haven to all who enter.

The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace While not a homemaking book exactly, it takes a content wife to make a beautiful home. I was also raised in the time when feminism was raging, and women were being taught that being empowered meant not being in subjection to any man. However, we will almost always  be under the rule of someone else, and want to please whoever that may be.  I myself have been more concerned about pleasing my superiors (when I worked outside the home), more than trying to please my husband. The bible says that we are not our own in 1 Corinthians 7:4 it tells us: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. So, this book helped me to see that I am not belittling myself by wanting to be an excellent wife, I am simply trying to be what God created me to be. We have a wonderfully peaceful home. I am not ill and discontented or feel that I am a "slave" to anyone. I feel that we are both happier than we've ever been. I have given this as a gift at wedding showers. It is sad to watch the women of all ages make fun of it.... 

Created to be His Helpmeet, by Debi Pearl I know, I know. This one can be controversial..I am sorry, but I like this book, I like that she just shoots it straight. Do I get brainwashed by every word? No, But I also do not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I am married to Mr Steady. This book helped me to understand him. It made me not sit around and wait on him to do everything. I want him to know that I am capable. If I can fix the washer, or the screen door, then I will do it! I am not going to pile one more thing on his plate. He works hard and long hours, and he pastors a church. In the words of Mrs. Pearl....Don't be a dumb cluck. lol

Large Family Logistics, by Kim Brenneman   Okay, so I may not have a LARGE family, but I don't think this book only applies to families with 10 kids. A friend convinced me of that, and I am glad I bought it. It has 47 chapters on every subject you could encounter in running a home and rasing a family. My favorite was the chapter on Self Discipline....trust me.... I still have to press into not being lazy and self centered. 

I will also add the Flylady's book Sink Reflections was one of the most helpful books that I have ever read. Period. I loaned it out, so I couldn't make a picture. 

There you have it. My personal list of the books I consider to be some of the best to help you grow and become a better homemaker, and a better person too!

Blessings, 

Linking up here: Raising Homemakers , Strangers & Pilgrims, Coffee & Conversation, Hearts for Home

Love is spelled T.I.M.E

She left the comment on my Facebook picture. This picture:

 It said, "Love is spelled T.I.M.E"

It was profound to me. It spoke to where I have been lately.

Two young ladies, mature young ladies, they were having fun. They were including the little girls (can't find my pic of them all) and wondering how in the world we got our hair so big in the 80's. My honey told them they looked good, but that "Momma could do the big hair, back in the day, she did it the best." :) (The kids think its funny when he refers to me as Momma and I call him Daddy...who would have ever thought...)

We were making TIME for the kids to spend together because life is getting so busy, and there are so many happy things coming up, but that will also mean that we don't get to spend much time together. My friend and I sat and talked about the passing of time. How the girls have grown so fast. How we thanked God for more little ones because by the time you come to know how fast children grow, well, they are grown. We talked about homeschooling and how much of a blessing it is. How we never thought it would be what it is. About how losing that idea of "school at home" was the greatest gift and how we still, after all of these years, felt like we could still improve some things. You see, though, while you are planning and reading and learning all of these wonderful philosophies that you want to incorporate into your home, children are growing. There is no pause or rewind. Time is unrelenting sometimes and this momma wants to scream and make it stop so I can get it all together then press the "go" button when I am good and ready.  I want my vision in my head to be our reality, but there was no time to learn this before the children came.

This has been a learn as you go way.
Life.
Only one go at it.
Make the most of it!

No one told me that I would have Charlotte Mason dreams. No one told me that I would desire to cook three meals a day, teach phonics for years, clean up what will become a mess again tomorrow, learn hard-for-me math right along with my kids.

Everyone dreams glamorous dreams..... Then I come to see that this life is my glamorous life. What could be more glamorous then shaping souls and being adored by your children and loved unconditionally by the man who you fell in love while he was still  a boy?

So, you come to see the battle against time. How do you use that time? Do you win hearts or become a slave to educational and cultural ideas that are all failing? You only have so many days before that little baby is an adult and you have to let go. I know, moms of toddlers, it seems never ending, but it's not.  I guess what has brought this all so heavy on me is that my oldest is on the brink of 18. It has freaked me out. Period. She is fine. She wants to stay here and study more. She loves home. She has never said, " I am outta here as soon as I hit 18."  My husband tells me all of the time, when I feel so unlovable,  "You just don't see how your kids adore you. They love and care for you more than anything I've ever seen." Why can't I see that? I am working hard at living life from that truth instead of the lie that says I have messed up. 

So here is a little note to myself:

When the little one interrupts cooking with "Mom! Look!"  Melanie, look, smile and praise them.

When the young man want to show you what is fascinating him, be it gross, Melanie, look, listen, get excited with him.

When the 17 year old begs you to read The Scarlet Letter with her so that you can talk about it. Melanie, read it.....that is what those books you are reading now are trying to tell you anyway.... be with her, now!

When the little ones have drug out every dress-up dress and have red lipstick everywhere, take pictures and hug them, kiss them. Dance around like a princess with them.

When it is night time, Melanie, please, take the time to speak gently with them all instead of declaring how it is late and you are tired and to GO TO SLEEP!

Time is moving so fast. It wasn't long ago that Jessie was Janie's age and oh how I didn't know anything about how time can rob you. Like my favorite book, One Thousand Gifts, says:

“When I fully enter time’s swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here.” 

And she also writes this: “Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing.... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.”  -Ann Voskamp

My goal is to teach them well through the gate of their heart. If I give them all knowledge and lose their heart. I have failed.

Capturing those hearts take TIME.

Be in the moment today, with gratitude, you will never get today back. How will they remember this day?

Jenna's Birthday {the post I almost forgot to do}

Well, good grief! What kind of mom am I? I was uploading pictures for a blog post about our new school year and I ran across pictures of my dear little Jenna's 7th birthday. She had a fabulous cake done by me dear, talented friend, Tara and I just forgot to share it!

So, here you go...just a little late.

Birthday morning. Opening gifts before church.

A birthday muffin to start the day!

The main event: Brave cake!

Since her birthday fell on a Sunday we had cake and ice cream after night service in the fellowship hall with her little friends and family.

Isn't that the cutest cake!

This child is a sweet blessing! That little smile just makes my day. I am having a blast watching her learn to read and write. She is busy today writing a song. It is titled "I Love My Jesus."  What could be more precious? Since Jenna is the third born she has the advantage of having a momma who understands now that babies grow up real fast and that momma's need to cherish each moment!

A Letter to the Mean Mommy~ repost

A Post from the Past
Originally posted on December 8, 2007

In the midst of stress and frustration, God has sent exactly what I needed to hear. In the following letter that I received this morning through an email from Homeschooling Today, the words that my heart was crying out (but my head would not let them through) were made real. When I sat down for a break to read this email I could not believe that it came today. It has been a busy week and many things are behind, this evening is busy as well and I really want to get caught up to put my greatest effort into school before Christmas. This morning everything I needed to do seemed overwhelming I am glad I was able to put it into perspective before mean mommy stayed too long at my house. You see, I know I am not alone because the person that wrote this poured her heart out to help someone else. To the author I send thanks and gratitude for her honesty.

 A Letter: To Whom It May Concern 

by Kara Murphy 

Dear Mean Mommy,
 I am writing, once again, to protest your visit to our house yesterday. I would have thought that my last litany of complaints would have given you pause before you returned, but no. You seem to come and go at will. Well, I have had enough. First, you never give me any warning that you are coming. If I knew you were coming, I would be able to prepare for you as I do all my other guests. Why must you always arrive when the house is in such disrepair? In general, we do a fair job of keeping things picked up, but without fail, when the house is at its messiest, you show up. Not only that, but you time your arrivals when I feel my worst. Your last visit was after a sleepless night with our newborn. Before that, it was during a stressful time when the bills were late. No one should feel free to visit at tax time, especially when I have put off important record-keeping until the last minute. I suppose you would not think twice of arriving at our door immediately after we have just had back-to-back company. These are not the times to make unannounced appearances at our house!

 Even if we were aware of when you were coming, I would still not appreciate your attitude. Must you whisper those words to me all day long? You can’t do this. You are failing. Another woman would do a better job than you. What are you doing to your children? It isn’t enough that you pick on me, but must you also be so grumpy toward my children? All day long, you nag and complain about them. Do this. Do that. Hurry up. Get back to your work. You are a broken record and you need to be replaced! Don’t you realize that children are not finished products, yet? They are adults-in-training, but they’re not there yet. And must you be so impatient with them? Sometimes, you are like a steamroller, plowing through the house. I would hate to get in your way! You are running us all over. But the worst of it is your appearance…you look so much like me, my children may not realize the difference between us. They might actually think that you are me! I have had to apologize repeatedly for your troublesome ways. This is it. Your reign of terror must stop. Please leave and never return. And should you be tempted to come back, just remember that I am onto your tricks. Your wiles will not fool me any longer. I am going to fight to keep you away. And I know the best way to do that, too. God’s word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against Him. —Psalm 119:11

 First, I have determined in everything, to give thanks seeing that this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning me. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) I will rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4) for I am learning, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Philippians 4:11, 13) When those doubts begin to creep in I will be confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6) If you could just stop blustering and ordering everyone around long enough you might see an eternal perspective. You would realize that there is so much more to life in Christ than the day-in-and-day-out ups and downs. Step back for a moment from the immediate stressors. Why, there isn’t a hair that falls from my head that the Father is unaware of. He cares for birds and flowers in the field. How much more does He care for me and my family? (Matthew 6:25ff) Not only that, but He is working every circumstance in my life for my good and for the good of my children who love Him. (Romans 8:28)Since I know that I must be sober, to love my husband, to love my children (Titus 2:4), I will be gentle among my little flock, even as a nursing mother cherishes her children: So being affectionately desirous of them, I will be willing to have imparted unto them, not the gospel of God only, but also my own soul, because they are dear unto me…even when I must labor night and day. (1 Thessalonians 2:7-9a) And most of all I will remember that charity—an antiquated term for our word love—suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity—or love—never faileth. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
 If I have to, I will get really radical. When you show up, I intend to meet you at the door intent on bodily harm. For I see who you really are. You are the old (wo)man that Scripture speaks of so clearly. But I know this, that my old woman is crucified with Christ, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth I should not serve sin. (Romans 6:6) I will likewise reckon myself to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So I will let not sin therefore reign in my mortal body, that I should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield my members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield myself unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and my members as instruments of righteousness unto God. (Romans 6:11-13)

Because I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)
                                                                              Prepared to do battle,
                                                                                                      A Loving Mama

Gentleness Challenge.

This is a highly important aspect to mothering. Gentleness. As a homeschooling mom I can get so busy and stressed about everything from laundry to phonics and attitudes and character.....the list goes on...that I become one unpleasant mom. You know what that does? That totally tears down the very thing I am trying to build.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. Proverbs 15:1-2

"Let’s focus this January on dealing gently with our children. Touch them gently, use their names gently, use your words gently, slow down and be loving, kind, and gracious." from Women Living Well.

 The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson is  the basis of this study. If you would love to be a more gentle, gracious, patient mom (who doesn't) then check this out.

The Gentleness Challenge

Here is a direct link to the book:

Many blessings to you!