Love is spelled T.I.M.E

She left the comment on my Facebook picture. This picture:

 It said, "Love is spelled T.I.M.E"

It was profound to me. It spoke to where I have been lately.

Two young ladies, mature young ladies, they were having fun. They were including the little girls (can't find my pic of them all) and wondering how in the world we got our hair so big in the 80's. My honey told them they looked good, but that "Momma could do the big hair, back in the day, she did it the best." :) (The kids think its funny when he refers to me as Momma and I call him Daddy...who would have ever thought...)

We were making TIME for the kids to spend together because life is getting so busy, and there are so many happy things coming up, but that will also mean that we don't get to spend much time together. My friend and I sat and talked about the passing of time. How the girls have grown so fast. How we thanked God for more little ones because by the time you come to know how fast children grow, well, they are grown. We talked about homeschooling and how much of a blessing it is. How we never thought it would be what it is. About how losing that idea of "school at home" was the greatest gift and how we still, after all of these years, felt like we could still improve some things. You see, though, while you are planning and reading and learning all of these wonderful philosophies that you want to incorporate into your home, children are growing. There is no pause or rewind. Time is unrelenting sometimes and this momma wants to scream and make it stop so I can get it all together then press the "go" button when I am good and ready.  I want my vision in my head to be our reality, but there was no time to learn this before the children came.

This has been a learn as you go way.
Life.
Only one go at it.
Make the most of it!

No one told me that I would have Charlotte Mason dreams. No one told me that I would desire to cook three meals a day, teach phonics for years, clean up what will become a mess again tomorrow, learn hard-for-me math right along with my kids.

Everyone dreams glamorous dreams..... Then I come to see that this life is my glamorous life. What could be more glamorous then shaping souls and being adored by your children and loved unconditionally by the man who you fell in love while he was still  a boy?

So, you come to see the battle against time. How do you use that time? Do you win hearts or become a slave to educational and cultural ideas that are all failing? You only have so many days before that little baby is an adult and you have to let go. I know, moms of toddlers, it seems never ending, but it's not.  I guess what has brought this all so heavy on me is that my oldest is on the brink of 18. It has freaked me out. Period. She is fine. She wants to stay here and study more. She loves home. She has never said, " I am outta here as soon as I hit 18."  My husband tells me all of the time, when I feel so unlovable,  "You just don't see how your kids adore you. They love and care for you more than anything I've ever seen." Why can't I see that? I am working hard at living life from that truth instead of the lie that says I have messed up. 

So here is a little note to myself:

When the little one interrupts cooking with "Mom! Look!"  Melanie, look, smile and praise them.

When the young man want to show you what is fascinating him, be it gross, Melanie, look, listen, get excited with him.

When the 17 year old begs you to read The Scarlet Letter with her so that you can talk about it. Melanie, read it.....that is what those books you are reading now are trying to tell you anyway.... be with her, now!

When the little ones have drug out every dress-up dress and have red lipstick everywhere, take pictures and hug them, kiss them. Dance around like a princess with them.

When it is night time, Melanie, please, take the time to speak gently with them all instead of declaring how it is late and you are tired and to GO TO SLEEP!

Time is moving so fast. It wasn't long ago that Jessie was Janie's age and oh how I didn't know anything about how time can rob you. Like my favorite book, One Thousand Gifts, says:

“When I fully enter time’s swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here.” 

And she also writes this: “Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing.... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.”  -Ann Voskamp

My goal is to teach them well through the gate of their heart. If I give them all knowledge and lose their heart. I have failed.

Capturing those hearts take TIME.

Be in the moment today, with gratitude, you will never get today back. How will they remember this day?

Sweet Peace. Sweet Love.

I don't know how we got here. I sit and ponder on it. Two people grown into mature love for one another yet still giddy with like-new love. How do some grow bitter and apart? And yet I love him more deeply than ever and I feel it. He loves me too, all of me. Forty-something, after four babies, flighty, sometimes moody, messy-housed, "honey your laundry is in the dryer," me. There is a deep respect that was not demanded. It was carefully nurtured and tended, guarded fiercely. I can't write a book and tell others how to do it. THE BOOK, told us. I don't know why He chose to bless the two of us with this gift. We just trusted that if we did it His way that we could be happy. Together. Joined. We are two, yet one. Were there rough times? Oh, those first few years....wow.... so glad God worked on those stubborn, self-centered ways. I think on those days fondly, I live in these days gladly. That is my Multitudes on Monday. So humbly thankful for this gift that has built this home and four little blessings. I pray and beg God to be forming someone for them who will make them feel as loved and secure as Sweet Hubby makes me. 

and counting.....

252 a clean house

253 the sunrise

254 washing machine humming

255 How his "I love you " still makes my heart skip

256 homeschool

257 morning bird singing

258 Rooster crowing

259 the feeling of home

260 church family

261 peace

262 grace, again

Time

Thanksgiving makes time. 

Give thanks, slow time down with all your attention, 

& time multiplies.

........Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

This morning holds contentment....

I love Monday mornings, I think I am strange, especially after reading the news-feed on Facebook.  And I guess if I was having to leave my home and family for the next five days I might not like it either. But here, Mondays are a fresh start to a new week, they hold promise, routine returns. I love it.

Living in a state of gratitude is life changing. It is fresh, like His mercies renewing every morning. It can make the ugly smaller when you try to find the beauty.

Oh, I'm not living in dream land. I have struggled with some disappointments and worries just this weekend. But, I have noticed that when I focus on thankfulness I do not have to let those things suck the life out of me.

Recognizing the moments, fleeting, and fully living in them.

So much to be thankful for.

100. Sounds of a houseful of  love

101. Wild laughter from the kitchen

102. the twinkle in his eyes ♥

103. the warmth in his voice ♥

104. perseverance

105. sparkling clean sink ☺

106. prayer

107. my sweet man (from 102 & 103) who smiles and winks as he helps me with laundry. ♥

The Bloom Book club had the first video up yesterday with Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts. Oh my, that first chapter is hard, but hearing her tell the story.....wordless....

Multitudes on Monday

I hear of the death of a young woman. She is my age. She had a family, a home, a life she fought hard to live. I did not know her on a personal day by day level. But, many I know did.  I have prayed many times for her.

She would love to have time to clean the house, to wash the clothes, to tuck the kids in, to scrub the tub, to praise the Lord, to watch kids laugh, to kiss her husband....one more time.

As the book, One Thousand Gifts, drips with constant reminder. Live in this moment! It is all we have...


70) Health
71) Laughter before the sun woke up
72) learning to live in the moment.....without fear
73) no cavities for Jenna! Yay!
74) sweet moments recognized
75) learning, growing, living all right here together {Thank you, Jesus}

Thankful....every day......

That I am. But since I am reading One Thousand Gifts I think I will do the "Multitudes on Mondays" with the community over at A Holy Experience.

So, for right now "Thankful Thursday" with give way to "Multitudes on Monday"

Whatever day that I get around to posting really matters not...
It is the learning that "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." {1 Thessalonians 5:18}

Seeking joy in the smallest of things.  {Like a sweet, juicy cantaloupe in the dead of winter}

This is my life, the only one I'm given, and I wish not to waste it living in ingratitude.

Thankfulness gives way to joy.....which is giving way to praise....

My own count of One Thousand Gifts

Moved beyond words, that is what I have been this past week. One Thousand Gifts will do that to you. A story so beautifully, poetically penned. A book that the Holy Spirit has spoke to me in so many ways about grace (can  you tell?), thankfulness, time....this one life that I have and how I spend it. I have finished the book, now I am starting it again. The work God has done on my heart has just been amazing. It is a learning experience that I do not want to forget. I don't want to slip back into ingratitude. To a pessimistic view that drains the life from you. To constant frustration and that feeling of failure. The Giver of Life has blessed me, abundantly. I can't tell you enough.....READ THE BOOK! :)  If I only live another day, I want to live it fully in Him. So now I can say "Thank you Lord, for the little bodies who wear all of this laundry" instead of complaining. That, for me, is coming a long way.

It really coincided with what is going on today in my families life. The passing of my Nana, my step-dads mother. Really, I never use the "step" when referring to him. But, for the sake naming which grandmother passed  I will use it now. When you are with family, just being together and preparing for the funeral, your mind naturally goes to pondering on this one life and what it means. You see ever more clearly how the eternal   matters so much more than the temporal. No matter the possessions you have, it is the relationships that matter most. Relationship with Him. Relationship with your loved ones. Not the mark you left on the world, the mark you left on the souls you came in contact with.  We all gathered together and just that act seemed to bring comfort. My 11 year old asked a very powerful question, "Mom, this is nice, being all together, not rushing, why do we only do it when someone dies?"

Oh......why?......Yes, why?

So here is my list...

26)  family
27) THE Comforter
28) being able to make music
29)  the four year old who rubs my back
30) "I love you, Mom" from the 11 year old
31) Jessie, always helper
32)  candles that smell nice
33) the warm fire
34) waking to another day


And if you want to buy the book: